me: [driving the grandparents to the hospital]
grandma’s gps: in 800 feet turn right
my gps: in 800 feet turn left
me: thanks. ever so helpful.
Tag: me
You know, it’s always been assumed that in ancient Britain people avoided the fair folk at all cost and were super careful to not be trapped if taken, but with the amount of people agreeing that they want aliens to abduct them today, I can’t help but wonder if during tough periods of Irish history there were people who genuinely wanted the fair folk to get them.
“As you can tell, we have to be very careful around these parts lest the fair folk steal you to the Otherworld.”
“FUCKING STEAL MY SOUL ALREADY YOU ETHEREAL ASSHOLES!”
You know, I never thought of it like that, but I can absolutely believe it.
me in ancient britian: *banging pots and pans and hollering in the forest, walking into every faerie ring I find*
“What about the woman screaming?”
“Yeah sorry, that was me,” he said. “I really, really hate spiders.”
Girls don’t want boys, girls want an all-expense-paid trip to New York City and tickets to see Hamilton.
My neighbours are hosting some sort of charity event thing and they’ve got a live band going on and they’re pretty good
So when they finished a song I yelled out a “woo!” And then I just hear, “is that a neighbour?” Over the microphone.
“You’re really good” I say because, well, what else do I say when I’m yelling over 4 acres of bushland during the night?
Then I just get a really awkward reply of “thank you” and now I’m just sitting outside in the cold listening when the last song comes up and:
“This one is dedicated to the random neighbour that is hopefully still listening to this for free”
I'd Much Rather Have a Dragon 