Christmas was coming. One morning in mid-December, Hogwarts woke to find itself covered in several feet of snow. The lake froze solid and the Weasley twins were punished for bewitching several snowballs so that they followed Quirrell around, bouncing off the back of his turban.
With its medley of magical faculty and its ever-changing rotation of Defense Against the Dark Arts professors, Hogwarts could use a little RateMyProfessor action—and we felt obliged to answer the call. If Snape’s rating doesn’t make you laugh out loud, then you have a Horcrux for a heart.