DC Aesthetics: Clark Kent
(related reading: “Science Says Superman Should Be Black”)
Tag: dc
my question isn’t “why do people live in Gotham” my question is “why do people who live in Gotham habitually buy recreational drugs from a known serial killer who wears a potato sack over his face”
I bet in the early days of the Justice League, when the original seven were still trying to work as a team, before any of the sidekicks came, before the Justice League became a giant extended family, the other members would occasionally forget that Batman was a father to a tiny, energetic little boy until they were forcibly reminded.
“I’m afraid we’re going to have to move the budget meeting this Saturday. Yes, I’m afraid something more important has come up. Dick is asking to go back to the Natural History museum for the 6th time this month. He likes the wooly mammoths, they remind him of elephants.”
“Yes I understand, Luthor’s plans need to be… Wait, can you hold on a second Clark?… Dick, I swear to God if you jump off that banister you may survive the fall but you will not survive me, do you understand? Yes, I thought so… Sorry, you were saying Superman?”
"Flash, act natural, pretend we are in a serious discussion and I am asking for your signature for very important League business and not because Dick has been begging for your autograph since he heard about you joining the team. Dammit Allen do not smile like that this is serious.“
“Get your mind out of the gutter Jordan, there’s a thunderstorm in Gotham and Dick’s stuffed animal was frightened of the lightening. Why else would he be in my bed at 4 in morning? More importantly, why are you calling at this hour causing my rightful cranky son to answer the phone?”
“You’re a magnificent warrior Wonder Woman but motherly you are not. You need to hold them properly, like this, to soothe their fears. Dick likes to be held after a nightmare, you just stroke their head, assure them that everything will be fine, perhaps rock them gently… genTLY DIANA.”
“Aquaman, do you have a moment? Dick’s been feeling a bit lonely at the manor, I’d like to get him a pet but with our busy schedules it needs to be something manageable. How the hell did you did ‘Tiger Shark’ out of ‘Manageable’? I just want a damn goldfish.“
“I don’t take your meaning Cyborg I am very clearly doing work here. Yes, that monitor in the corner is always running, it’s just security footage from the house. Yes, I check in to make sure Dick is still safe in bed and he hasn’t been kidnapped or started climbing the chimney again. No, I am not being overprotective, just wait until you have children Victor then talk to me.”
I'd Much Rather Have a Dragon 