sammyycas:

avengers headcanons of mine because reasons:

• peggy calls bucky “james”
• natasha picked it up from her
• peggy was really involved in tony’s life when he was growing up
• he still visits her
• and calls her “aunt peggy”
• literally everyone visited peggy before steve
• sometimes bucky uses his arm as a dry-erase or magnet board
• tony is always making arm jokes about bucky
• like watch out, he’s armed
• tony has been trying to buy out the game of thrones franchise (or at least get on an episode) because he is a stark, after all
• sometimes clint disappears and they don’t know what happens to him until they find him asleep in weird places, like on top of the fridge or in the big A on the outside of the building
• besides steve, bruce was the first person bucky would spend time alone with; when they asked him later, he said it was because “he knows what it’s like to lose control of your own body”
• thor frequents protests for social justice because on asgard, all of these rights are already established, and he intends for midgard to have the same
• one time, sam did a nick fury impression that was so convincing that tony broke the arc reactor he was fixing
• another time, sam was telling everyone to get back to work, motherfuckers in his fury voice when fury himself walked in behind them
• sam won’t talk about what happened afterwards
• sometimes, steve forgets that he’s not pre-serum anymore and is confused when he picks fights and the other guy backs off
• natasha has a collection of old guy nicknames for steve, like “geezer” and “old fart”
• when steve discovered harry potter, he read all the books in a week and then insisted on having long discussions about hogwarts with everyone
• thor got really into it too, and he and steve are friends on pottermore
• natasha runs a jawline commentary, like when steve is arguing and then she’s like “jawline. jawline alert. here it comes…and -” and then he clenches his jaw
• usually clint is the only one to hear her, which is ironic, because he can’t hear
• when clint doesn’t want to listen to anyone telling him something he doesn’t like, he takes out his hearing aids and hides them
• when people (bruce) ask him what happened to them, he signs that he lost them
• tony flips shit when clint does this because it’s always right after he makes him a new set that are specifically designed to help you hear better goddammit clint i worked hard on those
• bruce likes long sleeved sweaters that are slightly too big on him because they make him feel less like the other guy when he tucks his hands into them
• thor is a sucker for baby animals and hurt strays and keeps trying to take them back to the tower and keep them
• tony says that they can’t keep every animal you find on the street, thor, we aren’t a pound
• so bruce starts a little vet office in the lab and every time thor brings home another stray they patch it up together (sometimes tony contributes with a little prosthetic for it) and then they advertise it on their @officialavengers twitter until someone comes and adopts it
• bucky is hyper suspicious of anyone trying to adopt these animals and personally interviews them to make sure they’ll actually take care of it
• every time anyone on the team does something stupid, and rhodey hears about it, he looks into an invisible (or sometimes actual) camera like he’s on the office
• when steve and bucky walk next to each other in public and someone asks if they’re dating, natasha calls them “elderly ice boyfriends” for the rest of the week
• one friday night, they had a drunken argument about who would win in a fight, iron man or batman, and tony insisted that he would win because he’s real
• mostly everyone in the tower has nightmares, but they don’t go to each other for comfort, ordinarily. the one person who is always ready to comfort them is thor, because he used to do it for loki when they were kids
• pepper, maria, and natasha are good friends, and on pepper’s free nights they drink tea and talk about books and occasionally teach pepper some more fight strategies
• sam has tried to convince the entire group to attend therapy
• sam has failed to convince the entire group to attend therapy
• like the batman/iron man discussion, a few weeks later, there was an argument about who would win, green arrow or hawkeye. it was decided that the winner was clearly legolas
• the only one out of any of the team who really wants to have kids is bruce, but he’s too worried about it, so he can’t
• thor loves kids, but he’ll live for like 5000 years, so he’s still got plenty of time
• steve is nearly violently against anti-vaxxers, and spoke on the tv in what was supposed to be a benign interview but it just turned into a rant about as someone who’s experienced polio and whose mother died of tuberculosis and who basically had huge problems as a child i’d like to give you some advice: vaccinate your fucking kids do you want them to die
• steve’s shield is affectionately referred to as “grandpa’s frisbee”
• natasha and thor are really good with technology (nat because of her high iq and spy training, thor because asgard is hella advanced)
• clint has been taught teaching jarvis swear words
• every saturday is movie/tv marathon night
• they consistently fight over what to watch, but the one thing they can all agree on is lotr
• inspired by thatsthat24​, thor and clint start a vine account where they prank the other avengers by handing them mjolnir and watching them fall over
• one time thor did put mjolnir on the toilet an then recorded the entire day of people trying to pee and not being able to move it
• his plan backfired when steve just lifted it out of the way