Freshly dyed sheep run in view of the highway near Bathgate, Scotland. The sheep farmer has been dying his sheep with a nontoxic dye since 2007 to entertain passing motorists.
*yells incoherently about the founding principles of Christianity vs the evangelical/prosperity gospel/right-wing view of Christianity for a few hours*
Matthew 6:24: “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”
Matthew 19:20-23: Jesus said to [the rich young man], “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is difficult for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”
Capitalist “Christians” Today: I have stuff so Jesus must have blessed me! I’m going to Heaven for sure! By the way fuck the poor, Jesus must not like them or they’d have stuff too, it’s their own fault they’re suffering.
Jesus: I don’t remember saying it was Opposite Day when I stated those teachings, but,
Who knows where inspiration comes from. Perhaps it arises from desperation. Perhaps it comes from the flukes of the universe, the kindness of the muses.
the best lines from this article I read for research:
“or in the late-summer bloom of academic narcissism, a postmodern literary critic.”
“all one can do is weep”
“the same mixture of horror and pride that a father might feel upon learning that his 14 year old son has got a classmate with child”
“Huh?”
“of course Latin historians frequently failed to tell the truth”
“squalls of nonsense from France”
“we can scream in mirth at the feebleness of the criteria”
“the study of Latin prose authors was traditionally regarded as the province of dullards”
“ ‘it wants figs!’ ”
“a little innocent rhetorical gussying”
“the result is like the diary of a teenager: riveting only to its creator, repellent to others, and illuminating to none”
“the ecstasy of parsing!”
“to John Henderson the Annals were – well, as usual with John Henderson, who can tell?”
“this sad stuff”
“the Annales Maximi, about which controversy will never cease”
“as perverse as it would be to read the New York Times as if it were a novel by John Grisham”
even the title itself, “historians without history: against roman histography” (keep in mind that this article is found in a compilation called “the roman historians”, as if the overall salt content of the writing was not already high enough)