beatrice-otter:

professorsparklepants:

an-amateur-roman:

AU where the odyssey takes place entirely in ikea

Odysseus spends like an hour in the bed section being aggressively cuddled by some strange drunk woman who fell on top of him while he was testing out mattresses and has too strong a grip for him to pull free

Meanwhile Penelope is sitting behind the checkout with the bed they bought eating ice cream with Telemachus and trying to ignore the pack of dudebro frat boys trying to hit on her

When you consider how small the Mediterranean actually is … this makes even more sense.